Sometimes I just feel like a bitch... whatever I had done, it makes me feel cheap. Cheap in the sense its not something disgraceful, but something that makes me miserable, regret and embarrass. I shouldn't have done that!

And I'm stuck in the mid of a broken bridge. One wrong move lead me the grave, its not what I wanted. I stuck, no way of turning back, and I dont know how and what I should do. Ahead me is the mist, I couldn't vision, and all lies in me is fear, fear, fear, sadness and confusion.

Dear Lord, tell me wat should I do... guide me my way.

I dunno I dunno I dunno, why I'm feeling depress.
Okay, perhaps I know I preferred to avoid that thoughts.

This going last for days.. and I think I will still avoiding... for sure!

It's today's RJ that I'm looking forward, cos I'm going to practice freedom of speech, by putting whatever I think and feel in the damn RJ. And here is the second part of my RJ, first part was to answer the RJ question:

"As regard to last week’s comment, I felt it’s unfair to make such comparison. You DO NOT compare me with the shadow of my past. It’s not the first time. Since it’s a new semester, we should be given a new head start instead of bringing in my past performance to the new class. As for your information, I wasn’t really IM-ing during other’s presentation, I was listening. I did not ask question as I doesn’t have any, similarly as class discussion. I’m sure you preferred constructive comments or question.

I’m not sure if I’m graded based on the comparison, I felt the grade given doesn’t reflect will on my performance in class. I’m sure I’ve put in effort for the first two lessons but the grade isn’t what I deserve, if that’s the case, what’s the point of putting in effort when the grade I don’t deserve?"

I dunno if I did the right thing, but I DO NOT hesitate at that point of them, I click send instantly. I swear my faci is nice, but too much. And worst of all she nags! So I've got no choice by the stop it, once and for all.


Oh yes, did I tell u what lesson I've learnt today? First, DO NOT be kind with people, and DO NOT lend ppl my hardisk. Even though I seldom use my hardisk at home, I feel unease not hving it around with me. I'm sorry, piggy.. I'm sory element... Mama promise to protect u the nxt time kies? T.T

Look at what this world has become, man grow hatred and forgotten the 'innocent and lovely' side of humanity. There are even cases of human killing one another, even their love ones. I couldn't explain the tons of sadness for the sins created by our own mankind.

I saw the news of this 39 yrs old man suicide after burning his children to death. The son was 6 and the daughter was merely 3 yrs old. The neighbor that reporter interviewed claimed to hear the little girl weeping, calling her father 'Daddyyy' while the incident occur, sound as though she's in pain and helpless.

The wife.. loss her lovely children and husband, which is as close to nothing left in her life to strive. As for the children, they might have a good life ahead have lose theirs, due to the father's incorrigible act.

God knows what make him to do all these sins; burn his own children to death then jump down from the 12th floor. Loan shark? Broken Marriage? Or mental disorder? He should make his way to death alone, and leave the children alone, they are the most innocent ones in this whole incident.

I'm still wondering.. has the world change or us.. who's responsible?

I'm willing pay the price to forget all these, leading to pain instead of joy. Preetty sure this is not avoiding. I admit the kind of fate I'm in, so im willing to say goodbye.. in a good way.

Before doing so, I have to know the truth.. have you walk out of circle?

Hidden pain and aches...



Ytd, I went out to get dinner. My mum on holiday, no home cook food... so must da bao T.T
I'm indecisive as usual, intended to get seafood soup, yet the moment I reach the coffeeshop, I decided on chicken wings.

I gave my order to the auntie den walk to the provision shop den back to stall to wait for my order. The auntie shouted 'xiao mei, ni de ji chi pang hao liao, lai!" She shouted a few times before I got her, there's this another stood out together wit me, thinking his order is ready but its mine! So both me n him stood there.. waiting. He took out his 2 bucks, intending to pay the auntie, and the auntie ignored him and stretch her hand to get mind. Den the guy try to push it on her hand, den auntie speak out 'bu shi ni de, she zhe ge xiao mei den, ni de hai mei you hao'. I saw his face change sia.. funny!!! haahha!!!

I quick pay mine den walk off. just in case I start laughin, which i did behind his back... haha

Looking around me, I realise how empty my life is.

Im such a loser, talking about friends.. its that few, the rest has loss/seldom contact.
I really want to bridge the connection, yet I open the tab, I stare blank at it for a moment, den decide to close it.

I'm not sort of people who can strike a convo tat easily, so most of the time, people start the convo b4 i do, unless I really hv things to say. I wonder how those people do it, I admire it.

Den talking about love. that's even worst, so strike that out too kies.

Let me pms over it kies!!??!?! bb